Am I Catholic or a Satanist?

I went to church this morning and couldn’t believe that I was supporting the institution that supported witch burning. I prayed downwards like I intended to but felt out of place. I don’t know what keeps me connected to church, but I’m not quite a Satanist either. I do worship Leviathan but I don’t let myself get too deep., Should I support heaven, or put my work in hell?

Are you asking for an opinion or validation? Personally, as someone who has let their faith(wicca) die I think you should put your work here on earth where it matters because I believe neither heaven nor hell exists. I once believed in something else but I just don’t anymore and I’m doing just fine. Don’t know if this is what your looking for but there it is.

@batwings Only you know who you are and what you believe - no one else can tell you that. It can be hard sometimes, but I’m sure you’ll figure out what it is you’re trying to tell yourself. Like @Chad17 I have also let my former faith die, as maintaining it created too much cognitive dissonance, but if you find solace in belief in a higher power then that’s something I wouldn’t dream of trying to take away from you and it’s not something that the church should take away from you, either. Belief doesn’t equate to sanctioning the church’s atrocities, or their attitudes on social issues. No one knows how long they have, or what’s going to happen tomorrow, so I think that doing what you can to make yourself and the people around you happy is more important than abstract questions about religion.

That’s definitely more elegantly put and I agree that it is important to do what you feel is right for you and make you feel good and whole. Whatever your choice you’ll find support from me.

Also what or who is leviathan? I’m sincerely curious.

Leviathan is a beast of the abyss, usually a dragon, a squid or a giant fish.

Abyss as in hell what is it’s qualities what it is its purpose, is chaos oriented like cthulu or is this something that is secret and cannot be spoken of. Also I am genuinely curious and my questions are serious.

Leviathan is a destroyer. So, if you have a character flaw that you need to g et rid of, call on Leviathan. Its not a chaos demon as its qualities are honed.

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Okay thank you for the the insight. It reminds of how I used to invoke certain deities when I practiced witch craft. I imagine it is similar

Is it habit? Like, you go there regularly but that’s just because that’s what you’ve always done rather than because you agree with what is believed and supported there.

Actually, I go about once per month. It’s like God gets into my mind in a cycle. Like, the beginning of the month I’m in hell and praying to Leviathan. Then I get out of hell and observe nature, and then all of a sudden, I find myself praying to God again. I guess I have a trilogy of Leviathan, Mother Nature, and God. Thanks for pointing that out @herdivineshadow!

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