Let me count the ways... (ways AFI changed your life)

I was randomly thinking about how much Davey has inspired me since my introduction to AFI.

From writing (poetry), attire, hair, fitness, speaking, etc… I was able to tell Davey this once in 2003. Hopefully I can remind him again this year on their tour.

Ive looked up to Davey since 2000.

So because of AFI I became an artist. It started with drawing album covers and then to band members. I continued drawing and got better and better. Now I do 3-4 comissioned pieces a month and have shown in several galleries and museums. However my shining moment was when Hunter comented on one of my pieces saying how talented I was. I almost cried!

Here is my site if you would like to see my work! I do ceramics and paintings!


That’s pretty cool :slight_smile: My wife took a ceramics course a couple of years ago…and she really likes it :slight_smile:

You work is pretty good :smiley:

I don’t quite think words can describe how much they saved and changed my life.

From the small things like inspiring me to go vegan to the big things like literally saving my life.
I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember, and they always seem to calm and center me when needed.
A few years ago my life got completely turned upside down within a month. My dad died, my fiancé left me and I lost my job. I absolutely felt like I had nothing left to live for, did not want to be here anymore and Burials got me through that time.

I couldn’t be more grateful for them. I wish I could tell them, but I can never seem to put it into words when I meet them.


I forget who on here said it best… I think it was either @sayasha or @Pablo ?

AFI brings us to a “comfortable darkness”.

No other band does to me what AFI does. Within the first year of hearing AFI, I had gone to see them live, started dressing like Davey, listened to AFI literally non-stop.

I’m sorry to hear about your tragedies… but I’m also happy that you’ve found this place. This is what it’s all about.


There are so many ways, and the details are maybe too personal or too inappropriate to share here. When I was younger, I almost felt like I shouldn’t listen to them because I thought they would hate me if they knew someone like me liked their music. I felt sort of like I was tarnishing it somehow. I do think though now that’s mostly not true, I think the band understands. I remember Davey once saying in an interview in 2003 about how people are drawn to their music specifically because perhaps there is already a lot of darkness or emptiness in their (our) lives, and AFI’s music speaks to that, in a sort of solidarity type of way.

My parents were (still are) physically and psychologically abusive, my mother tried to kill me (is there a way to censor or spoiler this stuff??), my father locked me away as a teenager and kept me socially isolated except school, I’m estranged from all of my extended family, I was abused sexually by my brother for many years, sexually exploited by many others starting when I was 6 years old and went all the way until quite recently…I was bullied in school for being quiet and nerdy, all the way up through college, I was in an abusive relationship with someone for almost five years who I’ve only in the last year or so realize was a master-level narcissist and sociopath, I’ve been abandoned by everyone who said they care about me and blame it on my disability and that I’m “too crazy”…I am alone, really no friends or family, I live in isolation…every time I try to reach out to someone I get a knife in my back again for being foolish enough to think maybe this person can be trusted. Whenever I tried to tell anyone about any of this I’ve been blamed for it, or told that I was lying, especially when I was a kid, no one ever believed me…And no one has ever accepted even 5% of the responsibility for their behavior toward me for what they have done, they deny it or they say “you made me do it” or “I had to because you’re too ________”…

Obviously, now I hate myself quite a bit, I have a lot of psychiatric problems, I dissociate a lot and it’s a constant struggle to perceive myself as a human being, and even with all my logic and reasoning and all the research I’ve done and post-traumatic therapy I still think there is something intrinsically wrong with me which has caused these things to happen, like I was born evil, like I’m Rosemary’s baby or something…

So I think it maybe goes without saying, many of Davey’s lyrics resonate with me personally very deeply…and I believe what he says, not just in songs but listening to him in interviews as well, he speaks to a fundamental truth about humanity. It’s most obvious on Black Sails and some stuff on Shut Your Mouth, but there are many other songs I can hear that. Listening to AFI often helps me remember who I am, when I get lost in my dissociation, comfort me when I’m depressed, and when I’m pissed off and feel cynical and hate people (which is always) I hear someone echo my sentiments.

There are lots of other things too, I think that listening to them for so long and from a young age there is something about there music which has affected my personality and my interests (in a good way, of course). And I’ve even been planning a novel which the idea was inspired by some of the themes and imagery from Sing the Sorrow.

I’ll go away now…I’m quite used to being treated like a leper when people know…


But first, I also must add this.

Truer words were never spoken.


@Vanished I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again… Welcome.

Just think about this for a second, before June of 2017, this forum wasn’t here. Somehow been able to gather here in just over a year now.


We come from similar backgrounds of abuse, I understand your feelings completely. If you ever want someone to talk to, about AFI or just life in general, hit me up. You are most definitely not alone!!


@Vanished We’re here for you and you know that…we’re a big dark flame…don’t forget that :wink:

You’re always welcome here…big hug!