Treating the band members like.. human beings worth respect?


Davey regularly walks out into the crowd. Hundreds of people touch him all the time. I imagine that must get tiring, I hate people touching me without warning. But I feel like he gets himself ready and prepared for the godwalk. He has a chance to collect and push forward.

Then there are those times where fans act like total dicks and touch/grab/grope inappropriately and ruin the vibe for everyone, band included. There was one show this tour where some girl I believe grabbed at genitals during the godwalk??? So… sexual assault. Disgusting.

Anyway, my story is more tame than all that. Davey was at the barricade, getting ready to pull up for the godwalk and hands were everywhere. Grabbing, rubbing, touching his chest. Idk it was ridiculous. And I admit to grabbing the leather jacket a bit before I realized wtf I was doing and was like… "wait, this feels wrong. "

After that I spent the next ten seconds or so holding my hand just out of touch near him because my feeling was “I’d really like to touch you, but I also really respect you and that’s rude.” Idk, I’m new to this so maybe that’s just a part of it but I feel like just… going to grab all over someone is so disrespectful.

During that same time, some… persons hand was rubbing all on his chest and Davey stopped and gave them this look of “are you fucking serious?” Definitely made me feel like holding myself together was the right thing to do.

Any other instances you have come across that made you think about how we, as fans, have been, are, should be, treating our idols? They deserve our respect and admiration. Not our fan rabies.


I think people forget that celebrities are people too, and they forget that a tease is not exactly the same thing as an invitation (I’m thinking of what I’ve read about some fans’ behavior at Blaqk Audio shows :flushed:).

I realized after Red Rocks that I caught a short Boomerang video of Mrs. Eirinie Carson dancing in the crowd. I thought it was a beautiful clip so I sought–and was granted–her permission to post it.

Hopefully more people will be able to overcome their selfish behavior and be more respectful and learn to treat other people with dignity (this comment also applies to all of American society).


I experienced this during Sayrevilles. I was hesitate to even touch Davey’s shoe. He was on his stomach, crossing over top of me.


I absolutely agree that we forget that these people are… well, people. They attain an image, a vision, a mask that makes them seem more than human. At least to me. I often remind myself that the artists who have created this art i love so much are just people who love what they do and have become great at it through relentless pursuit. It’s inspiring, and I can’t imagine doing something to disrespect/harm them so insidiously.

I forgot to mention that I have no idea who Mrs. Carson is or the significance of that. Please share?


Don’t get me wrong, while he was doing the God walk, I held him up at the ankle like they were paying ME to be there. It was my job, lol. But while he was just kind of getting ready, I felt like I shouldn’t be bothering him. Like, “now is not the time.” When he was being passed back, did my best to just get him to the front, because I normally just duck and cover for the average crowd surfer.


@SacrificeTheory I caught a short video of Adam’s wife dancing in the crowd while AFI was onstage. She wasn’t there to perform, so I thought it was best to ask for her blessing to post it.


Oh jeez! I should have figured that one out. Derp that’s very respectful of you I honestly made a point of not following the guys personal life at all (I find most celebrity news boring anyway, but I do this to try to maintain some privacy for them)


Yeah, I get it that we all want to be as close to AFI as possible, but just like @Ophelia and @SacrificeTheory have clearly stated… you gotta be careful sometimes.

When you look up to these gentlemen for X amount of years and then you’re finally able to see them… it becomes surreal. Getting to meet with them at Sayreville… it’s like the rest of the world does not exist in those moments and times.


Every time I’ve seen the crowd walk, and I always feel sort of uncomfortable. Davey knows how to do it, but people flock to try and get the mic, to grab or just feel him basically. I mean, yes, we all dream of it, obviously, but it feels like such an invasion. Davey reach out for my hand at the show in Vegas to actually lift him up to stand. I think that was an appropriate amount, but then again, maybe he is just used to it and as long as he’s not being groped, he’s fine.

There was a guy (or girl, I can’t remember), also standing on the crowd in front of him, and he made a shoo gesture with his hand and then backed away to the stage at the end. I thought that was fitting and funny.


I don’t think you can ever really know what Davey is comfortable with without getting a definitive answer from him.

At a BA show last year, while Davey was singing he sang a line that was something like “…touch me…” (I don’t know BA lyrics well enough so I can’t tell you the exact song/lyric; tbh I was there mainly for Night Riots not BA) and grabbed the nearest fan’s hand and held it to his chest. Then he pumped his chest out while he let all the other surrounding fans grab and stroke his chest and shoulders for a few seconds.


Well that sounds like it was an awesome Blaqk Audio show! Too bad he didn’t ask that poor fan’s permission before grabbing their hand! :rofl:


So at the end of the day we’re all basically on the same page… we don’t want to be that person that gets shoo’d away. At the same time, we want to have a good experience.


I know this conversation is long done but honestly I don’t even see why people freak out in the first place. What is with this obsession of fetishising and dehumanising an artist to the point where just a touch is worth so much, it really baffles me. Just chill out and enjoy the damn music haha…


If I had the time, I would go into a whole psychological breakdown on this, but essentially it comes down to hysteria- which is an actual, medical problem. Basically, a great deal of psychological stress- even a positive situation can stress the mind: think about lining up all day, probably not having enough to eat/drink, and then the excitement building- can manifest itself in physical symptoms such as amnesia, convulsions, uncontrollable outbursts. They used to think it only pertained to women, but now they know men and women are vulnerable. The whole Beatles Mania thing is a great example of hysteria- collective hysteria. It’s what they think happened during the Salem Witch Trials. It’s all incredibly fascinating.


Yeah I guess it was rash of me to instantly chalk it up to immaturity, the human mind can be quite terrifying…


Nah, definitely not rash. It’s easy to assume people have control over their actions, but the mind is barely understood. We don’t know just how much control we have.


Your responses never fail to either educate me or fascinate me or both.


Really? I’m afraid I come across as pretentious, but I get really excited to discuss this stuff. My family tunes me out all the time. Haha.


As fans of Davey Havok I think pretentiousness comes with the territory!
But kidding aside your posts really have a lot of weight to them, your review of the conductor still blows me away


LOL. I will never forget being 11 and finding out that a band had a song titled after Malleus Maleficarum, a text I had been struggling to read at that point. And then I was really struck by the complexity of the lyrics. I think that’s why I became obsessed because it seemed for the first time (at least for 11 year old, not exposed to much besides Minor Threat and Dead Kennedys and whatever my parents were listening to) that it was okay to be smart and to read a lot. They really do prompt a lot of critical thought.