Thanks for saying that. 
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I would be honored if you did, that means a lot
So theres been an interesting development, im no long sad, depressed or anything of the sort. Turns out she was cheating on me and they were both gaslighting (or trying to) for months
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That really sucks i feel like its a different kind of hurt when this happens, ive been cheated on, twice, so i get it. Honestly your probably the one winning here, i personally feel like the stain of that kind if betrayal doesnt wash away from a persons soul or spirit or whatever, sheāll have to carry that and the reprucussuons of such actions. Anyways im glad your not sad anymore you dont deserve it. Also, was the comment above this one i commenting to about the tattoo
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Its the second LTR Ive been cheated on. So im definitely taking a break from LTRās for a whileā¦ unless i meet a super awesome Straight Edge person thats a geek as well.
Also yes i would be honored if you got my character tattooed on you. If it wouldnāt be too much trouble coule you post it to my Instagram: th3doctor_
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Iām sorry you got screwed around like that. People can be such complete assholes. My first serious relationship was a similar situation, so I can relate a little here as well, although that wasnāt actually a long term relationship. I think itās important to take care of yourself now and try to enjoy lifeās small joys and remember that itās okay to mourn what youāve lost, but try not to feel bitter about it, if that makes sense. As Chad said, the stain is on that personās soul, you shouldnāt have to carry that weight.
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Iām gonna share something with you that I havenāt shared with anyone yetā¦ something Iāve been writing/piecing together over the course of this time/situation. Here it isā¦ Iām sure youāll find it relatable:
āThe Visitorā
Attached to me, following me is a blackness Iāve accepted as part of meā¦
Who is the boy looking at the world with desperate eyes, without the strength to speakā¦
Iāll write those words I cannot speak
My hand will shake as my strength depletes
Visit me, nothing
Visit me, sweet nothing
I used to write in a black book. I would write in it when Iād often be visited by nothing. I donāt miss the deep breaths. I donāt miss what would be happening inside. I hate how easy it comes.
Attached to me, following me is a blackness Iāve accepted as part of meā¦
Who is the boy looking at the world with desperate eyes, without a voice to speakā¦
Iāll write those words I cannot speak
My hand will shake as my strength depletes
Visit me, nothing
Visit me, sweet nothing
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Wow! Powerful poem. I can relate to some of it. Thank you so much for sharing your amazing poem.
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Thanks! Feedback is always welcome and appreciatedā¦ itās something Iāve wanted to share, but didnāt have the write opportunity until now. 
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Im no longer carrany extra baggage. However re adjusting to be joined at the hip to being 100% alone after 7 years, thats taking bit to process. No one to talk to just me 5 cats and a massively empty house
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I can relate to this and just feel this in my soul
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Im so happy i could help
Thank you for sharing your poem with us. Itās beautiful, and the imagery of having a shadow-self always hanging onto you is very relatable.
@Th3doctor Iām glad youāre feeling a bit lighter, emotionally. Thatās really good to hear. I guess living alone will take some time to get used to, but at least you have your cats. Cats are wonderful company and five of them is five times as much goodness. Iām pretty good at being alone, so if you want suggestions you could use the time to read those books youāve been putting off, or watch that series or those films you never got around to watching. If you need to get out of the house, just go for long walks and listen to music, if you donāt really feel up to going Out-out. (Sorry, that was an awful lot of unsolicited advice!) 
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I truly appreciate any advice and will definitely do basically all of it.
However sadly my biggest issues now are waking up/falling asleep alone and the silence.
Oh silence used to be my greatest friend and companionā¦ yet now after 7 years of constant talking, joking, praising, talks of music, movies trivia, discovering new things togetherā¦ theres nothing, no one to turn to and say did you see that? What was that? Did you like that song?
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That sounds hard, it sounds exactly like grieving. I suppose, in a way, it is. Even though no one has died, youāve been though a huge loss and life is going to take a lot of readjusting to. If it helps, Iāve found when Iām alone and I canāt stand the silence I put the tv on, even if thereās only rubbish on. At least itās voices.
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Im trying that but what sucks is everything i watch now is stuff wever grown to love together.
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That does suck. Iām sorry and I know youāre trying. Iām sure things will improve with time, though Iām aware that isnāt much help now. I do believe things will get easier for you and the hurt will lessen.
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Iām probably going to go out on payday and do what I used to do and search for obscure foreign films. My wife and I had much different tastes when it came to those.
But I must say Ally, chad, and everyone else. Thank you so much for all your kind and supportive words, poems, advice, stories and more. I have never felt so happy and connected with a group. Thank you all. I hope i dont bother too much and will still post and may still seek help/advice as i continue to heal.
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That sounds like a really good idea, I hope you find some excellent new films to watch. As for the rest, youāre very welcome and Iām just glad we were able to help some. I hope things continue to get better, and weāll be here whenever you need to talk. Best of luck with everything.
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I love this, like @Ally said usung shadows as imagery was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing this
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